Each Opportunity
by Megkips
Summary: Shirou stares. "I thought you said you two were friends, Rin." "We are," Rin and Waver chorus together. "I'm pretty sure friends don't insult each other," Shirou adds, not sure what to make of the bickering. "We do," Waver shrugs. "It's just our own very special version."


It has been two years since Rin Tohsaka has approached this lab door and there is a slight chance that the user of it has changed. Still, she sweeps into the room with her usual air of authority, grinning at the normalcy of the scene before her. Spellcraft flies through the air with shouts and shrieks accompanied by the pounding footsteps of students running back and forth, and at the center of it all is one awkwardly lanky man in a suit that should never be worn in a lab trying to control the chaos. A small cough sounds behind her, unsure of their intrusion, and Rin only rolls her eyes in response.

Finally, a student runs smack into Rin and looks at her, registering that she should not be standing there. "Er," the young man says, frowning. "Do you need to talk to the professor or are you lost?"

"First one, if you could let him know there's someone here to talk to him, I'd be grateful."

The student gives Rin an unsure look, nods, and leaves Rin and Shirou standing awkwardly at the side of one of the lab benches. In the distance, someone mutters, "Can they wait?" with attendant nonsense about a schedule.

"You'd make me wait?" Rin projects her voice loud enough to be heard over the lab's chaos, and grins as Waver's head snaps up to see who his visitors are. "Are you trying to to get rid of me?"

"No, I don't suppose I could even if I tried," he deadpans back, waiting for Rin to come within speaking range before greeting her properly. "Hi Rin."

"Professor."

"Waver."

Rin snorts. "Make up your mind."

"I just did," Waver informs her cheerfully. "Let me finish up today's experiments and then we can chat. You and your-" He pauses and looks behind Rin, finally noticing the young man standing just to her right. "-Your, er, companion?"

"Twenty minutes it is then," Rin replies just as cheerfully, grinning at the baffled look Waver has in response to Shirou's presence. "We'll find a safe lab bench."

"Safe?" Shirou repeats with an uneasy laugh.

"Ish," Rin clarifies as she heads towards the windows.

"Standing right here, Rin," Waver says, faking his annoyance.

There's a strangeness in how little things change in two years, Rin decides as she watches the lab go through its usual clean up procedure. The same brooms fly through the air, the same cleaners are still used and the same shouts and groans over who is to do what echo. If she were still writing her thesis, this is when she would come in and talk with Waver about her progress and pick arguments over this and that passage. She sits up straight when the room has finally cleared and automatically reaches for her bag to rummage for a paper and -

"Old habits die hard, hm?" Waver asks, coming to sit beside her.

Rin offers a half smile and a cold laugh. "It's this place, I swear."

"It does that," he agrees, watching as Shirou comes to stand just off center between himself and Rin. "No need to introduce your assistant by the way," Waver adds. "He did so himself when he offered to help clean up. I do find it a little insulting to him that you never even mentioned you had an assistant to me when you were writing your thesis."

"Well, I wasn't around much," Shirou interjects. "I just was helping her get books or run errands when you were both meeting."

"Also I did mention him," Rin adds with a proud grin. "I called him 'someone who's running errands for me.' Jeez, your memory must be going. You're how old now, forty-"

"I'm thirty-four, Rin!" Waver says, arms flailing as he speaks. It's a wilder gesture than it used to be, and Rin has to wonder if it's stress related. After all, Clock Tower's new dean has been making changes that have angered entire departments, including Waver's.

"That's ancient for a mage," Rin notes. "I hope you've got posthumous plans for this case study of yours."

Shirou stares. "I thought you said you two were friends, Rin."

"We are," Rin and Waver chorus together.

"I'm pretty sure friends don't insult each other," Shirou adds, not sure what to make of the bickering.

"We do," Waver shrugs. "It's just our own very special version."

"Speaking of things that are special," Rin says, leaning one hand on the table and supporting her head with it "What ridiculous nickname have the students decided to give you now? Still being called McGonagall?"

"No," Waver grimaces. "Professor Lannister now."

Rin tilts her head. "I think that one is outside of my reference pool."

"I have a red coat and gold-coloured scarf," Waver explains, noticing Shirou's blank face. "It's a common colour combination and a lot of my first and second generation mage students make jokes about it - usually pop culture references."

Shirou nods. "That makes sense. Sorry you needed to explain it."

"Don't be," Waver replies. "You didn't know. And I remain impressed that Rin didn't need to have the Harry Potter joke explained to her way back when."

That earns Waver a well-placed glare. Waver grins back at it. "Now, lovely as this insult reunion is, Rin, do I get to know why you're on campus? I thought you were excited to go back to Japan."

"Oh," Rin says, not having noticed she lost control of the conversation. " I'm doing consulting work for the mineralogy department. They're doing some experiments with old Tohsaka patents and asked me to be present. Honestly, I think they just need help with reading the handwriting."

"And if they're making changes, then you can be involved with the new patents and the income they'd bring in," Waver fills in, nodding as if he's being asked for approval of the move. "How long will you be in England?"

"A full academic year. Clock Tower has us up in a hotel at the moment and has agreed to pay for whatever flat we're staying in but-"

"-Finding one that meets our needs has been hard," Shiriou explains. "It's either the right price with not enough rooms or big enough but too costly. I've started looking for places outside of London but it's still not been easy. Plus since we're not English, things get more complicated."

Waver stays silent for a few moments, taking the time to look around the lab for something. Rin watches him as he gets up to retrieve an old looking leather messenger bag, "hmm"ing so often that he might as well be meditating. When he returns to his seat, Waver has the same sort of mildly manic expression he has when playing twenty questions on a thesis defense committee. "Where I'm living now out in Godalming is huge. If you don't have a problem commuting every day-"

"We couldn't possibly," Shirou begins at the same time as Rin says, "That sounds great."

"What I mean to say," Shirou tries again as Rin cuts him off with, "Is it one of the Archibalds' houses?"

"Yes," Waver confirms before looking at Shirou, "It's easier for you two and you don't have to pay rent."

"Could we maybe at least talk about the arrangement before blindly agreeing?" Shirou sighs. "If we have to commute, I think we should know about how much time it takes, how big your house is-"

"Could you get us some coffee then?" Rin asks, turning to Shirou. "We can discuss it over that."

Waver opens his mouth to suggest that they all go together, but Rin catches his eye just long enough to show that there's a reason for the request. Shirou doesn't miss it either.

"I need directions to a shop then," he says, looking to Waver.

The two watch as Waver fumbles through his bag for something, then casts a glance at the lab bench behind Rin. "Just grab my phone over there and ask it for directions to the nearest Costa Coffee; it'll pull up a map."

"I thought mages and technology didn't mix," Shirou says with a slight frown as Rin hops off the stool she's sitting on to retrieve the phone.

"Depends," Waver replies evenhandedly. "Some do, some don't. I haven't been able to figure out if it's a generation thing, circuit interference or something else entirely. At any rate, I have no problems with the iPhone and I've been pleasantly surprised that I get good reception while on Clock Tower's campus."

"I'd think that just being here would-"

"-Yeah, really," Waver says, and Rin tunes him out entirely as he starts talking about research. The phone in her hand demands to be tapped before coming to life and the idea of sliding to unlock takes another moment to process. She's heard about the phones you could ask questions to and get an answer from, even in Japan, and so in an even voice she brings it to her eye level. "Please give me directions to the nearest Costa Coffee."

The phone thinks for a moment, then chimes back. "There is no currant curry within a five mile radius."

Rin stares angrily at the plastic in front of her. "I said Costa Coffee not currant curry!"

Distantly, she swears she can hear Waver mutter, "Then there's that," with a grin threaded in his voice.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't find currant curry," the iPhone cheerfully replies to Rin's shout. "Please try again."

"I said Costa Coffee," Rin repeats through gritted teeth.

The iPhone pauses before giving another reply. "The cost of a copy is five pence on average in London."

"That's not what I wanted either you pointless piece of-" Rin yells back, half tempted to throw the thing across the room. "Costa Coffee!"

"I do not understand, please try again," the phone says, indifferent to her frustration.

Rin groans and tries again, only for the phone to give irrelevant information about blue whales. By the fourth attempt, Shirou has looked away and Waver coughs into his sleeve.

"Rin," Waver eventually manages, swallowing his laughter. "Do you have a translation spell running?"

"Yes," Rin says, slamming the phone down. "...oh."

"Oh is right," Waver grins, reaching out an arm. "Give it here."

Shirou picks the phone up from its spot on the table and hands it to Waver, figuring that Rin's unhappy glare is reason enough not to let her touch it again. Waver offers Shirou an unapologetic grin, then speaks into the phone, requesting a map to the nearest coffee shop. The phone chirps back merrily and brings the map up.

"I'm going to assume you're better with technology and trust you with this," he says, handing Shirou the phone. "The map's already on the screen. Small coffee for me; get what you want. Rin-?"

"I'll have coffee too," Rin says, eyes resting on the phone as if it has destroyed a beloved family pet.

Waver reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a ten pound note. "Here, I'll pay."

"Thanks," Shirou says, accepting the bill and then looking down at the phone. "I'll be careful with it. Promise."

"Well, you can't be worse than Rin," Waver says, not even flinching when Rin kicks him in the shin. Shirou offers an awkward smile in response and heads out, clutching the iPhone like it's a relic.

"That was fun," Waver remarks when the door has closed.

"For you, maybe," Rin begins. "Can we speak seriously for a moment?"

Immediately, Waver's slouch straightens and his grin fades, becoming sour. "Of course."

"I got word just before I came to London for this consulting job that there's a part of the Association trying to review and recall dangerous rituals that threaten to expose magecraft to the public at large. The Grail Wars came up in the discussion and they're probing further. To no one's surprise, my name came up in their research and they were hoping to speak to me further about my opinions on maintaining what's in place."

"I see," Waver says after a long pause, his fingers tracing idle patterns on the tabletop. "What past decisions has this group made and how do you think they will assess the wars?"

"I've only managed to find two of their decisions in the archives here." Rin casts a glance over to the lab door before answering. "They meet every few years and their minutes have a ten year hold in the archives before they're made public."

Waver clicks his tongue softly, fingers no longer tracing on the countertop but drumming steadily. "How did they come to decide the Grail Wars were worth reviewing?"

Rin shrugs carelessly, leaning back on her seat. "Who knows. I had been talking to someone from here back in June and they mentioned the committee was meeting in August and asked if there was anything in the east the Association should look into since they usually aren't paying attention to us. I offhandedly said that the fourth war had been a bit of a problem and messed the war cycle up and didn't give the city enough time, but there's no way to know if that remark reached the right ears."

A small grin flicks across Waver's face, disappearing just as fast. "Who knows how communication works within the Association."

"Definitely not magic," Rin agrees. "I have some further thoughts on potential outcomes of his decision, but I don't think we should discuss it on campus."

"Not at all," Waver says with a wave of his hand. "That's what my house is for. Tell me though, is there any reason we're not discussing this in front of your assistant?"

"A few," Rin replies. "Mostly because he doesn't do well with this part of being a mage and bringing the wars into it will just..." She pauses, frowning at the floor. "He'll be more open with his feelings and it'll interfere with how we plan to proceed. As a point of clarification, Shirou was Saber's master in the fifth war. We can discuss that at your house as well."

"You say that like the matter's already settled."

Rin gives a small laugh, slightly condescending. "It is. We're moving in tonight if you'll let us."

"So what, you're telling me is that Shirou's only protesting my offer for sake of politeness?"

"No, it's genuine," Rin corrects. "Besides, you wouldn't even make the offer if you didn't want us around. How big is the house though?"

"Well, compared to the Archibald home out in Icklesham, it's miniscule," Waver admits. "but on its own, it's still massive, built in the Palladian style in er - I think Ismene's mother said it first constructed in 1710? I use about five of the rooms there and the place has two distinct wings. Hell, most of the furniture still has cloth over it."

"We'll get you up to ten rooms being used," Rin promises. "As soon as we finish politely declining the invitation."

Shirou's not sure if he likes England yet. The greenness, even this late into December, is nice, as is the chance to cook more Western food, but the Velvet house in the middle of the countryside still leaves him cold. It's big, of course, but there's no feeling that the place has been lived in. Waver goes from kitchen to study to den to bed, and Rin spends much of her time in the workshop she's set up in the basement, leaving Shirou to wander and occasionally run to buy new kitchen equipment that the house is lacking. Stranger still are the bi-weekly days when Waver and Rin lock themselves up in the library, guarded by Waver's silver mercury blob that otherwise lies dormant in a kiddie pool in the kitchen. The few times he asks Rin about it, she brushes Shirou off with an eyeroll and a mutter of it not being very important, meaning that whatever is being discussed is precisely the opposite.

By mid-December, he changes tactics, choosing instead to knock on the door to Waver's den on Friday night in the pursuit of knowledge. "Waver?"

"Come in," Waver says cheerfully. Shirou does as instructed, eyes scanning the room quickly. It's small, painted in pale green and dominated by the flat screen television mounted on an entertainment center. Three game systems rest on the single shelf underneath the television along with a cable box, and Waver himself is sprawled across a white sofa, Xbox controller in his hand and eyes completely focused on the screen. Shirou has never seen Waver this relaxed - or in pajamas for that matter.

"Er-" Shirou says, putting the thought about clothing out of his mind. "I was wondering, do you have a pressure cooker, or do I need to buy one?"

"I definitely don't have one," Waver says, thumbs moving madly. "If they don't have them in the shops here, you'll have to head to Guilford."

Shirou nods, then turns to try and figure out what game is being played. There's nothing familiar about it, and it takes a cleared level and a chipper blue-eyed core for the name to come to Shirou. Waver continues through five more levels before he looks up from his screen to find his houseguest still standing there, eyes transfixed on the game.

"Ever play Portal 2 on co-op?" he asks.

Shirou does the thing where he blinks once and tilts his head just a little to demonstrate how bizarre the question is, then follows up by answering, "No."

"Good, neither have I," Waver says. He pauses the game and reaches over to the basket that rests on the side table, rummaging for a second Xbox controller. A few others - PS3s, Wiimotes - slip out, one knocking into a worn plush lion who gets an apology for the offense, before Waver finds it and holds the piece of plastic out to Shirou. "Well, come on."

The second look is also a look that Shirou's made frequently since coming to live in the house, but he takes the controller all the same and flops onto the overly plush sofa. Waver flicks through the screens as Shirou makes himself comfortable, and soon enough the load screen disappears, leaving the two with portal guns, cores and GLaDOS.

"I don't get it," Shirou says by the tenth level.

"What, why the robot keeps deadpanning at us?" Waver asks, slowly inching the companion cube to where it needs to be.

Shirou shakes his head no, taking time to observe where the cube is in relation to the portal he's made. "No, that part makes sense. It's you that's weird. Every other mage I've met won't even touch a television remote if they can avoid it. The only thing you won't go near is a kitchen appliance."

"You saw what happened with the food processor," Waver mutters darkly.

"A lot of people forget to put the lids on and get gazpacho on the ceiling."

Waver's face shows just how convinced he is by the argument, and he punctuates its strength by thunking the companion cube down and making a portal beside the cube. "My inability to do more than microwave food aside, I'm not sure what criteria you're basing your judgement on. Clarify your argument. Oh, and make that portal on your lower left, that'll clear the level."

"Where the- oh," Shirou answers his own question before he finishes asking. "As for criteria, the amount of arrogance that most mages have isn't there, and you're kind to students. Some of Rin's old professors were really mean and singled out students to pick on."

A grin that isn't crosses Waver's face as the next level loads. "Do you know why mages do that?"

"Bully each other?"

"It's a matter of social status," Waver explains. "Rin has explained to you how magic circuits are thought to be an inherited trait, right?"

"Yes," Shirou confirms, pausing to drink in the new level. "Oh, the cube's over there, I'll get it."

"Well, the older the family, the more powerful they are and the more powerful, the more respect and prestige you ha-watch out for the lava!"

"-!"

"-Sorry. Anyway, the more respect and prestige, the more you want to maintain it and make sure people don't attack you to try and take over. Does that make sense?"

"From older families, I guess, but bullying-"

"-It's a display of power, usually all for show," Waver admits, pausing to admire the graphics on the screen. "And it's accepted practice. Has been for centuries. You don't get anywhere without showing off at the expense of others if you're a mage. Students are just easy targets."

Shirou watches as Waver makes a connecting set of portals and drops through it, frowning as Waver's button mashing taps just a little harder than it should be. "-That happened to you, didn't it?"

"You're smarter than you let people think," Waver says rather than confirming Shirou's suspicion. "You probably know why no one has tried to change it either."

Shirou doesn't state the obvious answer, but he follows it up all the same. "The Association doesn't do anything though?"

"No," Waver says, running smack into a wall. "Everyone getting along and being nice isn't the Association's goal. They want to regulate mages so that magecraft stays hidden from normal people and to ensure the tradition's collective survival. Nowhere in there do they have to care about how one acts so long as these goals aren't violated."

"So behaviour doesn't matter," Shirou concludes with a dissatisfied huff. "Rin said something like that to me a long time ago when she was explaining how mages inherit an entire family line's worth of work and have to represent the life's work of all the past generations, but it didn't occur to me that it would make people act how they do here."

Another portal is made and Shirou runs through it, only to find himself quite dead. The level starts over again and Waver has to smile. "Why did you think that?"

"Well, I didn't have a lot of points of reference at the time. And honestly, I thought that her explanation was just a result of being unhappy with how my father had taught me magecraft." He takes a good look at the screen and makes the first set of portals on the level, then runs through them.

"May I ask-?" Waver begins cautiously, only for Shirou to cut him off.

"He used specific words, drew lines between being a mage and being a magic user. It wasn't until Rin explained the definition that I understood why he had used such careful phrasing, and it wasn't until I came to London with Rin that I understood the full extent of what was meant by each."

"Did you ever decide which you are?'

"A magic user. Being a mage is too-I don't think formal is the right word for it."

"Vicious?" Waver supplies instead.

A portal misfires at the screen. "It has too many obligations," Shirou says instead. "Uhm. And you have to pretend to like people to their faces and - ooh, what's the word? Lip service?" He glares at the screen for a moment like it's to blame for a word that he might be using wrong. "It's hard to be honest there and I couldn't survive in a place like that."

"It takes a certain amount of self-knowledge to know when you'd be in over your head," Waver offers softly, creeping past a turret on the screen. "Your approach - or lack thereof, I suppose - is commendable."

The turret fires anyway and Waver grumbles angrily as the level starts itself again. "Damned things."

"We should try and deflect them first before going for the companion cube," Shirou suggests. "Might be easier."

"I think you're right," he agrees, and the two immediately set about doing so as the load screen disappears.

"If we're still talking about approaches though," Shirou says, once the turrets have been seen to. "You're still doing something different and it's kinder and more welcoming than what everyone else practices. Change doesn't always have to be big."

"You like seeing the best in people, don't you?" It's a question as much as an observation on Waver's end. "I'm nicer to younger generation mages, yes, in part because I am one myself and I understand their perspective, but also because it is to my benefit in the long run."

"-To your benefit?"

"Yes."

Shirou frowns, finally looking from the screen to Waver. "I don't understand."

Waver says it as if he's explaining a simple equation, eyes still focused on the game. "I have established myself amongst young families as an ally and they are loyal to me for that kindness. Loyalty like that is a valuable thing for mages, to be spent when needed. There are days ahead when I will need such generosity. Likewise, Rin would not have come to me if I didn't offer her something she required."

The frown on Shirou's face deepens and he goes so far as to pause the game. "You two are friends though."

"Now, yes," Waver corrects gently. "But not initially. She came to me because she needed something and I accepted her proposal because it would benefit me. Friendship came from working together and the fact that we still have a shared goal. In a way, it is what brought us together and forced our co-operation. Without that, we would have never needed each other." He sighs. "Shirou, there is no such thing as an honourable or just mage because to be a mage is to be born with power beyond normal men. It is then only natural to pursue the expansion of power through any means necessary, because that power means you are at an advantage over others and can protect yourself and whatever else you deem worthy. Your self interest becomes the most important thing, and those you hold close can be weaknesses used against you when faced with others who want that same power you are pursuing. The desire to expand and protect one's power and all that comes with it is a trait all mages have, myself included. If I appear unconventional in my approach, it is only because I started in an unconventional way, giving those around me no time to oppose my first steps forward. I would defend the power I hold to my last breath. Any mage who says otherwise is a liar."

The pause screen's music fills in the long silence between the two, long and uncomfortable, with Shirou looking pointedly at the floor and Waver back at the screen, thumbs resting on the control pad.

"What did Rin need from you?" Shirou asks eventually. "And is that why you keep meeting in the library?"

"Information," Waver says simply. "And yes, it is. Did you ever read Rin's thesis?"

Shirou shakes his head no, feeling something in his stomach sink at his previous question. The look from Waver isn't sympathetic, nor particularly interested in why Shirou is frowning at his own shoes. It's evaluating, and followed by a moment's eyebrow raise. "You should ask her about it," Waver says, unpausing the game. "It should answer your question without me violating Rin's trust."

Shirou is about to ask why Rin's trust is worth defense, but realizes that the turrets are firing again and that a space core needs moving. The conversation stops there, and what remains of communication is what portal is to go where, followed by the occasional groan that always goes with a failed level. GLaDOS insults them both, and eventually Waver admits that he started the game to put off grading papers.

"I had wondered what that stack on the floor was," Shirou says, staring down at the essays in question. "Have you even started?"

"Nope," Waver says cheerfully. "But I probably should, huh?"

Shirou nods in agreement. "Yeah. I mean, maybe not doing it in here would also help."

"Likely." Waver shrugs, stretching his arms behind his head. Shirou places the controller gently on the sofa and then hops off. "Tomorrow's Saturday; are you two still going into London for that conference going on at Clock Tower this weekend or-?"

"I'll probably know at five in the morning because Rin will be yelling at me that we're going to be late," he admits, not surprised that Waver laughs in response. "You should actually get to work."

Waver makes a show of reaching down and scooping the essays up before Shirou leaves the room. When the door clicks shut, Shirou stares back at it, not quite sure what just happened. As he walks down the corridor towards his own room, Waver's comment about Rin's thesis settles itself in his head, and Shirou sighs at it. He'll ask Rin about the thesis directly and then leave it at that. Anything further means losing the aspects of being a magic user, and Shirou will not permit that to happen.

Waver is sitting manipulating graphs on a tablet when Rin walks into the lab on a blustery February day, grim-faced and radiating irritation.

"I take it that the committee meeting didn't go well," he says, not bothering to look up.

"Understatement," Rin groans, tugging the tablet out of Waver's hands and putting it down on the lab bench. "They talked to one other person before me and decided to cancel the inquest."

"Which family then?" Waver asks worriedly, turning to Rin. "They can't have possibly gotten the Matou to fly all the way out here."

Rin shakes her head no. "Einzbern, although I don't know which one. An ancient man like Acht can't have gotten on a plane and flown to England for a single meeting."

"Mm," Waver hums, hands creeping back towards his tablet, only for Rin to smack at them. "Rumour has it that they do have a male heir these days - a boy a few years younger than you. I can't recall the name, but it probably has a lot of umlauts in it."

In response, Rin cracks a small smile. "Probably. One or two of the seven on the committee seemed incredibly annoyed by the cancellation though. And yes, before you ask, I got their contact information and will make sure to keep in touch. I want to see if I can overturn their decision, or maybe set something else up."

"It's opportunity," Waver agrees solemnly. "And that's the most we can ask for if we want to destroy the Grail for good."

"We just have to keep playing the long game to do it," Rin says, as if confirming it for herself.

"That we do," Waver agrees, sounding no more optimistic than Rin - only resigned to the length of time involved. He takes her silence and distraction as an opportunity to snatch his tablet back, and he taps the screen to bring it back to life. "But I have another game to attend to, and I'm pretty sure that you were only taking the morning off from work to get to that meeting."

"When did you become my minder?" Rin asks with an annoyed huff.

"You're right; I'm not Shirou," Waver shoots back with a smirk. The shove is worth it, as is Rin's attendant huffing as she sees herself out.

"I'll see you home," he calls after her.

"If I decide it's worth dealing with all your sarcasm!" Rin yells back, picking that moment to slam the door behind her. The entire lab rattles for a moment, and then settles back into comfortable silence. Waver smiles at it, then looks back down at the data in his lap. It's a sobering thought that Rin's game is only a fraction of his own, and that the graph on screen showing years of work is only the smallest portion of what he needs to pull off the winning move entirely.

* * *

**Notes:**

*This fic was originally posted on AO3 on 30 November 2012 and is mirrored here: /works/578585  
*This fic is a part of the series If Not Alexander, then Diogenes, and is available on AO3 here: /series/23756  
*With deepest gratitude to Puel for inspiring this fic by joking about Rin vs Siri and Penitence Road for beta-ing.  
*The video game scene is indeed a shout-out to Mithrigil's fic The Arbiter.  
*This started out as a joke about iPhones. I don't actually know how it got this serious I swear.


End file.
